-Marvel at the Rainbow-

GlennFolkvord, in a way I can relate to what you're saying - even if I agree with Modulator, there's definitely magic in creating...
However, for reasons very similar to yours, I always refused to study music theory; I want to make sure my music is there to express what I am and what I feel, not what I know. I want to be able to be surprised by what I do, preserve some naivete (don't remember how to spell this, sorry) to make the whole experience genuine.

A couple of weeks ago I was listening to an album I deeply love - Discovery, by Mike Oldfield. I hadn't really listened to it properly (darkness, lying down, headphones) for years. During these years I have improved my knowledge about mixing and producing etc. quite a bit.
Well, I was lying there with Oldfield in my ears, and you know what? I wasn't feeling the emotions, I caught myself listening to the way he panned the instruments, the volume of the various parts, etc.
I was scared. Really. I took off the headphones, took a walk, and when I came back I immersed myself in the music again, but with a different spirit. And it worked. I didn't hear the studio work, but I felt the music.

So... yes, I'd never give up making my own music, but at the same time the risk of "losing the magic" as a listener exists.
However, I think that if you manage to keep a certain balance inside, you can enjoy both.
If listening is so important to you, however, it is probably a good idea not to run the risk

Ouch, sorry to hear that But maybe it could be an extention of it, a sort of discussion on a subject that goes deeper into it?

Well, the main - and often only - purpose of music (or writing, or painting, or whatever) should be to express what you have inside so that it turns into something "material" that can be experienced by yourself and by others. So, if that doesn't happen - if you listen to what you do and think, "this is not quite what I had inside" - studying can be helpful, of course.
The trick is to use what you learn to make what you create as similar as possible to what you have inside, as opposed to considering it a possession, something to use just because you have it and maybe even to show off...
I think the friends GlennFolkvord was talking about (and I've met my share, too) fell unfortunately into the category of people who think of knowledge as something to possess and even show off, but of course that doesn't mean that everybody is like that

Regarding your last lines, do you mean you're gradually stopping listening to music? I ask because I do listen to much less music than I used to - mainly because of lack of time (mostly the pressure Seren mentioned), but also because when I have time I prefer to make music. I can't say I don't miss it, though, so I'm planning to start listening to more music somehow.

I've only just read this article and the discussion (frankly, with the title I thought it was some kind of new age hippie introspection!) and realised I'd missed a fun read with some relevant observations. I certainly agree with a lot of what you wrote.

I always remind myself what I might lose if I became blind or deaf, and it really makes me appreciate what I can see and hear. I realise that I would hate to lose my hearing mostly because I'd miss listening to music, so it's no surprise that music still means a lot to me even as a composer. In fact, as a composer I probably appreciate music more now - the skill of those who compose and play it (especially different genres that I can't begin to fathom how to compose, only appreciate). Plus, I get to write the kind of music that I like to listen to - if it sends chills down my spine, then it goes on an album. If others get those same chills, at least I made someone happy.

Incidentally, don't feel disadvantaged without musical theory. A good friend of mine, who had done music to A-level standard, always felt that knowing too much theory imposed too rigid a framework on your thought processes - he felt that self-taught musicians are often better composers exactly because they don't stick by the predictable and rigid rules of classical theory. I find that rules are a good guide, but you should always go with your own feelings.